I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
