dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
