i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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