When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
