His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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