take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
