come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
