everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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