Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
