Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
