I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
