i would punch a child for taco bell
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
