Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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