I want to stick my p in your. b.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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