I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
