their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
