Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Randomize
