Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
