my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
