Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize