fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
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