ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
this just has baby written all over it
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
