is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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