is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
