You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
