apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
