Yo dont text me then not text me
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
