My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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