are you so shy because you have an std?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
