Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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