One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
