Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(714): View more from California

He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings

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(847): View more from Illinois

Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.

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(507): View more from Minnesota

Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D

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(210): View more from Texas

If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.

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(571): View more from Virginia

I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.

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(512): View more from Texas

He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson

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(304): View more from West Virginia

It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.

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