Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
