I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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