her vagine was all disorganized.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
is it fun? or sober?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
