Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
