yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
