i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
