Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
