do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
