YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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