but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
