Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
