Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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