craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
