I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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