She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
