Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
