Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
