8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
